What makes a man? Do sex organs make a man? His mannerisms? His sporting ability? Is a man the combination of these, as long as he is tough, macho, doesn't cry when he is hurt, and he is able to have any woman he wants? Are these things what makes a man?
I grew up with four brothers and five sisters. I played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with my youngest brother, Stephen, outside and in the mud, but I also played Barbies with my sisters, Jaclyn and Kim, in the model home that they had for their Barbies. I played games outside and played house inside.
I was a member of the Boy Scouts of America ( I know. "Gasp, the Boy Scouts had a gay among their ranks and didn't kick him out." Shocking, I know.) I went camping, put up tents, tied knots, and did all the other things required of me to get my merit badges. I watched my older brothers, Loren, Josh, and Adam, while they played sports and flew airplanes on top of the roof of the old house, and secretly, I wanted to be like them; they were so tough and epitomized manliness.
But, I also loved to pick flowers and smell them. I loved to help Mom in the kitchen, making spaghetti or baking cookies and cakes. I loved to help Mom plant the garden. As I grew, I continued to do things with both my brothers and my sisters; some of my likes and dislikes come from my brothers and some come from my sisters. Must I purge my sensitivities for harder, more masculine traits?
I was not born with the natural ability to kill animals during hunting season. Also, I was not able to kill fish when, on an odd chance during fishing escapades with Grandpa, I caught a fish. In fact, the best part about going fishing with Grandpa was not that we caught fish. On the contrary, it was just being with him and looking for deer in the fields close to the lake. We drove around for hours looking, with his spotlight, for deer and occasionally, Grandpa would let me hold the light and shine it out on the fields to discover the deer and point them out to everyone else in the truck. I felt so grown up when he would let me be a part of that world.
However, on that rare occasion that I caught a fish, Grandpa was so excited for me. We were usually members of what he termed the Bum Fishermen because we never caught anything and he was the president of the Bum Fishermen Club. But on this occasion,I caught a fish, and after fishing for a little bit longer, we drove back to Grandma and Grandpa's house. I excitedly showed Mom and Dad my catch and then ran to show Grandma.
At that point, I had no idea what was required of a fisherman. I just knew that Grandma would prepare the fish in a butter and lemon juice mixture, in tinfoil, and she would cook the fish to perfection. Grandpa pulled me over to the sink and told me that I had to clean the fish. I honestly thought that it just meant cleaning the exterior of the fish, but Grandpa grabbed a knife and put it in my hand. He had me slit the belly of the fish and then told me that I had to pull the guts out. I told him I didn't want to do touch the guts because they made me squeamish. He told me I caught the fish and it was my duty to clean it inside and out. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't get a choice. I fulfilled my duty as a fisherman, but never fished with Grandpa again. I wouldn't even eat fish until that was my only choice (but that is a story for another day).
I was not born with the ability to play any type of sports. Well, volleyball was a sport that I was okay at, but let's be honest, volleyball is often considered a feminine sport. Part of the reason I didn't play sports, in addition to my inability to play and my desire not to play,was that I was born with a muscle growth between my ureter and my kidney that was taken out when i was three or four. (I have a big nasty scar on my side to show for it.) Because of this invasive surgery, the doctors told Mom that I would have to be careful and not play any contact sports, so I was banned from playing football, soccer, or even participating in karate. So, as to sports, they are not my thing.
I guess the notion of male and female gender roles and their fulfillment have become obsolete, in my opinion. Because we are who we are, mannerisms and all the life experience tied up in one fleshy being. We need to stop defining in terms of male and female, and rather, we need to define people in terms of what makes a human a human.
In terms of society and medicine, I am male. However, I am sensitive and some movies and other beautiful, artistic things (art, music, writing, poetry, etc.) make me cry. I have an artistic soul and see beyond just the physical. I have some masculine traits and mannerisms but, also, feminine traits and mannerisms. Does having both traits make me anything less than me? I think I am going to start using what God said in the Bible, when naming himself to Moses. It is not longer "I am male hear me roar" and watch me thump my chest. It is now "I am that I am." Nothing less!
I grew up with four brothers and five sisters. I played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with my youngest brother, Stephen, outside and in the mud, but I also played Barbies with my sisters, Jaclyn and Kim, in the model home that they had for their Barbies. I played games outside and played house inside.
I was a member of the Boy Scouts of America ( I know. "Gasp, the Boy Scouts had a gay among their ranks and didn't kick him out." Shocking, I know.) I went camping, put up tents, tied knots, and did all the other things required of me to get my merit badges. I watched my older brothers, Loren, Josh, and Adam, while they played sports and flew airplanes on top of the roof of the old house, and secretly, I wanted to be like them; they were so tough and epitomized manliness.
But, I also loved to pick flowers and smell them. I loved to help Mom in the kitchen, making spaghetti or baking cookies and cakes. I loved to help Mom plant the garden. As I grew, I continued to do things with both my brothers and my sisters; some of my likes and dislikes come from my brothers and some come from my sisters. Must I purge my sensitivities for harder, more masculine traits?
I was not born with the natural ability to kill animals during hunting season. Also, I was not able to kill fish when, on an odd chance during fishing escapades with Grandpa, I caught a fish. In fact, the best part about going fishing with Grandpa was not that we caught fish. On the contrary, it was just being with him and looking for deer in the fields close to the lake. We drove around for hours looking, with his spotlight, for deer and occasionally, Grandpa would let me hold the light and shine it out on the fields to discover the deer and point them out to everyone else in the truck. I felt so grown up when he would let me be a part of that world.
However, on that rare occasion that I caught a fish, Grandpa was so excited for me. We were usually members of what he termed the Bum Fishermen because we never caught anything and he was the president of the Bum Fishermen Club. But on this occasion,I caught a fish, and after fishing for a little bit longer, we drove back to Grandma and Grandpa's house. I excitedly showed Mom and Dad my catch and then ran to show Grandma.
At that point, I had no idea what was required of a fisherman. I just knew that Grandma would prepare the fish in a butter and lemon juice mixture, in tinfoil, and she would cook the fish to perfection. Grandpa pulled me over to the sink and told me that I had to clean the fish. I honestly thought that it just meant cleaning the exterior of the fish, but Grandpa grabbed a knife and put it in my hand. He had me slit the belly of the fish and then told me that I had to pull the guts out. I told him I didn't want to do touch the guts because they made me squeamish. He told me I caught the fish and it was my duty to clean it inside and out. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't get a choice. I fulfilled my duty as a fisherman, but never fished with Grandpa again. I wouldn't even eat fish until that was my only choice (but that is a story for another day).
I was not born with the ability to play any type of sports. Well, volleyball was a sport that I was okay at, but let's be honest, volleyball is often considered a feminine sport. Part of the reason I didn't play sports, in addition to my inability to play and my desire not to play,was that I was born with a muscle growth between my ureter and my kidney that was taken out when i was three or four. (I have a big nasty scar on my side to show for it.) Because of this invasive surgery, the doctors told Mom that I would have to be careful and not play any contact sports, so I was banned from playing football, soccer, or even participating in karate. So, as to sports, they are not my thing.
I guess the notion of male and female gender roles and their fulfillment have become obsolete, in my opinion. Because we are who we are, mannerisms and all the life experience tied up in one fleshy being. We need to stop defining in terms of male and female, and rather, we need to define people in terms of what makes a human a human.
In terms of society and medicine, I am male. However, I am sensitive and some movies and other beautiful, artistic things (art, music, writing, poetry, etc.) make me cry. I have an artistic soul and see beyond just the physical. I have some masculine traits and mannerisms but, also, feminine traits and mannerisms. Does having both traits make me anything less than me? I think I am going to start using what God said in the Bible, when naming himself to Moses. It is not longer "I am male hear me roar" and watch me thump my chest. It is now "I am that I am." Nothing less!
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