Do you remember the rhyme that states, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" What a world it would be if words really never hurt you. The thing many people don't understand is words may not be physically as painful as a kick to the gut or a fist to the face, but words can be just as damaging, if not more damaging to the receiver.
Fat, fatty, sissy, pussy, faggot, worthless, stupid, and other playground names may seem harmless or they may make the person yelling them feel better, but the problem with the words is that the person being bullied, after so long, begins to believe that they are worthless or stupid because they've heard it enough; the brain begins to believe that what it hears is truth and the bullied kid begins to see himself/herself as stupid, fat, sissy etc.
Even as a thirty-one year old gay man, because of my experience at Helper Junior High School in Helper, Utah, I can look in the mirror and the words that were used to attack me, unbidden, come to my mind. I begin to think of myself as worthless and fat. I call myself fag or faggot with the same hatred with which the words were spewed at me. A beautiful day, in the blink of an eye, is turned into a bleak existence of self-hate and self-deprecation. The bleak days turn to prayers to God to end my miserable existence because of a few words that weren't supposed to hurt me.
I wish I could say that the days get better as you get older (perhaps some days do, but I am never without feeling inadequate) and I wish I could say that ignoring the awful opinions of others becomes easy, but I can't completely tell anyone that it does become easy with better days. The days still turn bleak. My prayers often turn to pleas for the world to end. However, the key to controlling your thoughts is remembering that you can change what your mind is telling you WHO are, to you telling yourself WHO you are; the memories no longer control your perception of you, but you control your own perception. And finally, bleak days turn into clearer skies with the occasional dark cloud blotting out the sun.
Words do hurt, but we can make them sting less. We can give the words less power over us, but practice and time are the remedy. For now, just brush the words off your shoulder and tell yourself that you are beautiful.
Fat, fatty, sissy, pussy, faggot, worthless, stupid, and other playground names may seem harmless or they may make the person yelling them feel better, but the problem with the words is that the person being bullied, after so long, begins to believe that they are worthless or stupid because they've heard it enough; the brain begins to believe that what it hears is truth and the bullied kid begins to see himself/herself as stupid, fat, sissy etc.
Even as a thirty-one year old gay man, because of my experience at Helper Junior High School in Helper, Utah, I can look in the mirror and the words that were used to attack me, unbidden, come to my mind. I begin to think of myself as worthless and fat. I call myself fag or faggot with the same hatred with which the words were spewed at me. A beautiful day, in the blink of an eye, is turned into a bleak existence of self-hate and self-deprecation. The bleak days turn to prayers to God to end my miserable existence because of a few words that weren't supposed to hurt me.
I wish I could say that the days get better as you get older (perhaps some days do, but I am never without feeling inadequate) and I wish I could say that ignoring the awful opinions of others becomes easy, but I can't completely tell anyone that it does become easy with better days. The days still turn bleak. My prayers often turn to pleas for the world to end. However, the key to controlling your thoughts is remembering that you can change what your mind is telling you WHO are, to you telling yourself WHO you are; the memories no longer control your perception of you, but you control your own perception. And finally, bleak days turn into clearer skies with the occasional dark cloud blotting out the sun.
Words do hurt, but we can make them sting less. We can give the words less power over us, but practice and time are the remedy. For now, just brush the words off your shoulder and tell yourself that you are beautiful.
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