"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" said the Queen from Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. To which, the Magic Mirror responds that the Queen is the fairest in the land. What if each of us had a mirror that told us we were the most beautiful and fair, ignoring obvious flaws i.e. fat, moles, glasses and any other physical flaw that is seen as ugly or undesirable? Hopefully, we would leave our houses feeling beautiful and proud.
In Junior High, I was a victim of bullying. I struggled everyday with other kids calling me fag, faggot, queer, fudge packer, cocksucker, etc. You name it and they called me anything that equated with being gay or being a sissy. The students hurled the barrage of cruel and demeaning names. Most of the time, I didn't have any idea what they were talking about. Through all of the name calling and bullying, I suffered and suffered.
While the bullying was mostly verbal and psychological, the emotional toll, those years took on me, has stayed with me and the wounds fester. The memories are a constant scab I continually pick at and make them bleed. No matter how much council I seek, I find the memories too strong and painful to always overcome.
What I wouldn't give to have my own Magic Mirror to tell me how fair and beautiful I am. Perhaps, the daily positive verbalization would help to destroy the negative memories that are always inside my head telling me that because I am gay, I am a second class citizen and deserve nothing this world has to offer me or that I deserve to be called names. If I had the Magic Mirror, the religious me would stop saying, "You're going to go to hell if you kill yourself and you're going to go to hell for being gay, so you might as well get it over with and kill yourself."
Bullying is a modern-day warfare tactic that is not waged with guns and bombs, but with words that could kill by bringing the bullied to take their own lives. It is a plague that emotionally and psychologically damages and destroys. It is amazing how many types of bullying there are today. Schoolyard bullying was the only bullying that I experienced, but today, I fear for the youth because of all the social networking sites (Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc.) that allow kids to bully from wherever they are. Zero tolerance in schools and on the social networking sites needs to be implemented, so that people understand that it is not okay to make others feel like they are unimportant and that life is not worth living. Stop the hate. Stop the violence. Stop the bullying.
In Junior High, I was a victim of bullying. I struggled everyday with other kids calling me fag, faggot, queer, fudge packer, cocksucker, etc. You name it and they called me anything that equated with being gay or being a sissy. The students hurled the barrage of cruel and demeaning names. Most of the time, I didn't have any idea what they were talking about. Through all of the name calling and bullying, I suffered and suffered.
While the bullying was mostly verbal and psychological, the emotional toll, those years took on me, has stayed with me and the wounds fester. The memories are a constant scab I continually pick at and make them bleed. No matter how much council I seek, I find the memories too strong and painful to always overcome.
What I wouldn't give to have my own Magic Mirror to tell me how fair and beautiful I am. Perhaps, the daily positive verbalization would help to destroy the negative memories that are always inside my head telling me that because I am gay, I am a second class citizen and deserve nothing this world has to offer me or that I deserve to be called names. If I had the Magic Mirror, the religious me would stop saying, "You're going to go to hell if you kill yourself and you're going to go to hell for being gay, so you might as well get it over with and kill yourself."
Bullying is a modern-day warfare tactic that is not waged with guns and bombs, but with words that could kill by bringing the bullied to take their own lives. It is a plague that emotionally and psychologically damages and destroys. It is amazing how many types of bullying there are today. Schoolyard bullying was the only bullying that I experienced, but today, I fear for the youth because of all the social networking sites (Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc.) that allow kids to bully from wherever they are. Zero tolerance in schools and on the social networking sites needs to be implemented, so that people understand that it is not okay to make others feel like they are unimportant and that life is not worth living. Stop the hate. Stop the violence. Stop the bullying.
Hi Micah! I met Jaclyn when she lived next door to me in Idaho in 2001 and she was my best college friend. I was thinking about her today even though I haven't seen her in person since maybe 2007. Well, I saw your more recent blog post on her facebook timeline (because you tagged her in it). I remember spending some time with you at another one of your relatives' homes and I thought you were a great guy with a great and intelligent spirit. Jaclyn was worried about you at that time. I'm so sorry that people bullied you and that it kept hurting. You're right, it's never "okay to make others feel like they are unimportant and that life is not worth living." I still remember a kid teasing and laughing at me 20 years ago, but that was a little one time thing. On the other hand, I also remember compliments given to me, and a compliment a friend gave to my brother that was huge for his self-esteem. I have not had the same kinds of challenges that you have (and I didn't read much here yet, but thank you for sharing!), but people in my family and my husband's family have had some of them. And I have my own struggles. Anyway, I have a strong feeling that you are loved by Heavenly Father as well as by many people right here on Earth! ~Manda
ReplyDeleteThank you, Manda. I am truly blessed with people that love and care for me. Thank you for reading. I'm sorry that you had to experience even that one time of teasing and laughing. I wish you didn't have to experience that, but it helps, at least it helps me, to have sympathy and empathy for those that suffer. I hope that your struggles are limited. Namaste
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