I think it's time to find the "Middle way" again and find the balance to re-stabilize my life. I am running into walls and tearing up over nothing more often than I should be. So, I think its time to seek my center again because when I am centered and living in the now I am able to shrug things off and not let them affect me.
The "Middle Way" is the harmonious balance and avoiding the extremes in life. The balances on my scales are continually shifting and changing; they are far from harmonious right now. The difficulty is finding what is causing the shifts and avoiding them or finding their cure. But how do you find balance in a world of chaos and disturbances? I'm finding it difficult to breathe in everyday situations. I'm not sure what is the cause of the chaos and the constrictions in me, making it hard to breathe.
I think that the biggest thing for me that is causing the chaos and imbalance is my friendship. When terse and one-worded responses make the most of the conversations we share, I fear that that is all dissolving into nothingness and an abyss. I am trying my hardest to not let this push me away, but I don't know how to fix when I don't know what has broken. How can you fix a problem when the problem remains unspoken and/or avoided?
Is it time to find a new place to live? I have changed my work schedule so that my friend doesn't have to see me at home as well as at work. But is it now time for me to completely leave the house? I don't know if I am just over-analyzing the situation and not allowing for outside sources of chaos. I don't know if, in my over-analysis, I am doing everything in my unconscious power to break what isn't broken.
Herein lies my current state of suffering: because I am not allowing the transitory nature of life, even in regards to friendships, I am craving control of the situations and my relationships. In so doing, I suffer because I want nothing to change. But everything is changing whether I want it to or not. Also, because I seek control of the chaos, even though the control I seek is not possible, I am going to continue suffering until I can relinquish control and accept the transitory nature of life.
To the universe, then, I say, "I accept the chaos all around me and my lack of control of the chaos. I will release my desires for control because I know the control is an illusion and I am incapable of controlling the chaos. I accept the transitory nature of life and I will accept the inevitability of change. I will live in this moment and accept it as it is. I will live and be." Namaste.
The "Middle Way" is the harmonious balance and avoiding the extremes in life. The balances on my scales are continually shifting and changing; they are far from harmonious right now. The difficulty is finding what is causing the shifts and avoiding them or finding their cure. But how do you find balance in a world of chaos and disturbances? I'm finding it difficult to breathe in everyday situations. I'm not sure what is the cause of the chaos and the constrictions in me, making it hard to breathe.
I think that the biggest thing for me that is causing the chaos and imbalance is my friendship. When terse and one-worded responses make the most of the conversations we share, I fear that that is all dissolving into nothingness and an abyss. I am trying my hardest to not let this push me away, but I don't know how to fix when I don't know what has broken. How can you fix a problem when the problem remains unspoken and/or avoided?
Is it time to find a new place to live? I have changed my work schedule so that my friend doesn't have to see me at home as well as at work. But is it now time for me to completely leave the house? I don't know if I am just over-analyzing the situation and not allowing for outside sources of chaos. I don't know if, in my over-analysis, I am doing everything in my unconscious power to break what isn't broken.
Herein lies my current state of suffering: because I am not allowing the transitory nature of life, even in regards to friendships, I am craving control of the situations and my relationships. In so doing, I suffer because I want nothing to change. But everything is changing whether I want it to or not. Also, because I seek control of the chaos, even though the control I seek is not possible, I am going to continue suffering until I can relinquish control and accept the transitory nature of life.
To the universe, then, I say, "I accept the chaos all around me and my lack of control of the chaos. I will release my desires for control because I know the control is an illusion and I am incapable of controlling the chaos. I accept the transitory nature of life and I will accept the inevitability of change. I will live in this moment and accept it as it is. I will live and be." Namaste.
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