Thich Nhat Hanh writes, in his book True Love, "We are surrounded by miracles, but we have to recognize them; otherwise there is no life" (16). Miracles are everywhere we look; however, they do not always look like the miracles of Christ that are mentioned in the New Testament. Thich Nhat Hanh is suggesting that miracles are everywhere. However, how can you see the small miracles that are everywhere, when you are only looking for the grand miracles?
I have spent quite a lot of my life praying to God for a specific miracle. I have wanted God to kill me or make me different, make me not attracted to guys. I have felt deficient and broken since I was thirteen. And I have prayed for a miracle to change me and make me normal. I didn't want to be gay. I didn't want to be a rainbow colored crow in a murder of black crows. I craved the normalcy that was given to everyone else.
In looking for the grand miracle of transformation and correction, I stopped being; I stopped living life. I was looking for the change which wouldn't come. I ignored the simple miracles of life that surrounded me and shrugged of the miracles that infused the air I took in to sustain me. The simplicity of life escaped my view because my focus was on bigger and grander events.
I looked past the miracle of the heart that continues to beat within my chest. I couldn't see that with every breath I took in I was part of the miracle of life. I looked passed the flowers that bloomed, the trees that continue to grow, and the miracle of love that continued to evade my gaze. All of these miracles and many more went unseen because of the pure distaste for the man I am.
I know that the miracles of life flow within me and continues to make me a miracle. I am acknowledging the little miracles in my life and in so doing, I am living life and appreciating every rainbow colored facet that is me. I still encounter moments when the grand miracle of transformation and correction is all I can look for, and those moments when I hate the man I see in the mirror. However, as I see the small, everyday miracles, I can take deep breaths and I can live my life of rainbow colored splendor, seeing the small and beautiful miracles life has to offer. Namaste.
I have spent quite a lot of my life praying to God for a specific miracle. I have wanted God to kill me or make me different, make me not attracted to guys. I have felt deficient and broken since I was thirteen. And I have prayed for a miracle to change me and make me normal. I didn't want to be gay. I didn't want to be a rainbow colored crow in a murder of black crows. I craved the normalcy that was given to everyone else.
In looking for the grand miracle of transformation and correction, I stopped being; I stopped living life. I was looking for the change which wouldn't come. I ignored the simple miracles of life that surrounded me and shrugged of the miracles that infused the air I took in to sustain me. The simplicity of life escaped my view because my focus was on bigger and grander events.
I looked past the miracle of the heart that continues to beat within my chest. I couldn't see that with every breath I took in I was part of the miracle of life. I looked passed the flowers that bloomed, the trees that continue to grow, and the miracle of love that continued to evade my gaze. All of these miracles and many more went unseen because of the pure distaste for the man I am.
I know that the miracles of life flow within me and continues to make me a miracle. I am acknowledging the little miracles in my life and in so doing, I am living life and appreciating every rainbow colored facet that is me. I still encounter moments when the grand miracle of transformation and correction is all I can look for, and those moments when I hate the man I see in the mirror. However, as I see the small, everyday miracles, I can take deep breaths and I can live my life of rainbow colored splendor, seeing the small and beautiful miracles life has to offer. Namaste.
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