I have suffered from depression and still suffer from it. Although I am learning ways to manage my depression, those feelings of abandonment and loneliness remain. They sneak up on me when I wake, when I dream, and when I am sitting in the pitch black of my basement room. For a while, I didn't like to admit that I suffer from a mental illness; honestly, who would want to admit to anyone that they have a stigmatized illness. So, I wouldn't admit to my illness. I even hated to admit that I had to take a medication to manage the ups and downs. Why should I be the only one to struggle with it? This is honestly what I thought. I thought I was alone in my suffering because no one really talks about it or when they do talk about it, it is just that they are having a "blue" day. Why had God cursed me with yet another stigmatized thing that I cannot get rid of, but I really wanted to cut my depression out of me. I didn't want to continue to be so extremely different from the world.
The stigma and misunderstanding associated with mental illness run deep from speech (calling each other "psycho," "schizo," etc.,) to American film and its portrayals of mentally ill people. The misunderstanding goes so deep that people who suffer from depression are often told to, "Just be happy," or they are asked, "why can't you just be happy?" Before my parents and I discovered that my illness is caused by a chemical imbalance of serotonin and norepinephrine, my mom, when I was depressed, would tell me, "Micah, just be happy." She didn't understand, at the time, that there is a lot more to the illness than just willing yourself to be happy. She and my father have tried hard to understand my struggle with this illness and they have striven to help me in any way they can. And I am very grateful to them for their loving support.
Mental illness is just like any other disease that requires information for understanding, therapists/doctors to talk through symptoms, and medication to treat the symptoms. Medication, however, is not a cure. It treats the symptoms. The best part for people who suffer from the disease is to understand their bodies and what their body needs. For instance, for me, the side effects of the medications were not worth the temporary cure. One side effect of the medications I was put on is weight gain. However, a big thing that sets off my depression and self-loathing is body image; getting heavier was not helping my self-image. One aide that I have discovered for my body is exercise and diet. This combination allows me to lose weight and boosts chemicals in my body like adrenaline and endorphins. My point is discover what works for your body, but don't give up on finding help.
It is easy to give up, especially when those feelings of self-loathing, loneliness, and abandonment kick in. It is very easy to say, "I give up," or "what's the point?" However, I don't want you to give up. I want you to know that you do not suffer alone. I want you to discover your strengths to fight this illness that is ruling you right now. Don't let the stigma of depression and mental illness keep you from finding help and talking about it. Silence, in this regard, is not golden and will only end up wounding you more, if you let it.
Stand up with me and fight the thing that holds us back from living fulfilling lives. We are not our diseases and we should not let them rule our lives. Please remember that you are not alone and don't give up. Be the amazing people that you are meant to be, in spite of a disease that wants to keep you down. Don't let the darkness win. "Let your light so shine," as St. Matthew wrote in the Bible. Shine out and shine on.
The stigma and misunderstanding associated with mental illness run deep from speech (calling each other "psycho," "schizo," etc.,) to American film and its portrayals of mentally ill people. The misunderstanding goes so deep that people who suffer from depression are often told to, "Just be happy," or they are asked, "why can't you just be happy?" Before my parents and I discovered that my illness is caused by a chemical imbalance of serotonin and norepinephrine, my mom, when I was depressed, would tell me, "Micah, just be happy." She didn't understand, at the time, that there is a lot more to the illness than just willing yourself to be happy. She and my father have tried hard to understand my struggle with this illness and they have striven to help me in any way they can. And I am very grateful to them for their loving support.
Mental illness is just like any other disease that requires information for understanding, therapists/doctors to talk through symptoms, and medication to treat the symptoms. Medication, however, is not a cure. It treats the symptoms. The best part for people who suffer from the disease is to understand their bodies and what their body needs. For instance, for me, the side effects of the medications were not worth the temporary cure. One side effect of the medications I was put on is weight gain. However, a big thing that sets off my depression and self-loathing is body image; getting heavier was not helping my self-image. One aide that I have discovered for my body is exercise and diet. This combination allows me to lose weight and boosts chemicals in my body like adrenaline and endorphins. My point is discover what works for your body, but don't give up on finding help.
It is easy to give up, especially when those feelings of self-loathing, loneliness, and abandonment kick in. It is very easy to say, "I give up," or "what's the point?" However, I don't want you to give up. I want you to know that you do not suffer alone. I want you to discover your strengths to fight this illness that is ruling you right now. Don't let the stigma of depression and mental illness keep you from finding help and talking about it. Silence, in this regard, is not golden and will only end up wounding you more, if you let it.
Stand up with me and fight the thing that holds us back from living fulfilling lives. We are not our diseases and we should not let them rule our lives. Please remember that you are not alone and don't give up. Be the amazing people that you are meant to be, in spite of a disease that wants to keep you down. Don't let the darkness win. "Let your light so shine," as St. Matthew wrote in the Bible. Shine out and shine on.
No comments:
Post a Comment