When I sleep, the dreams my mind allows me to remember are full of death, destruction, disaster, pain, and all the negativity it can bring to the surface. I'm not sure why these dreams are the ones I remember most. Perhaps they are remembered because they startle me awake, but I am not sure. So much of what the mind can do is a complete mystery to me.
However, there is a dream that I remember in which I was happy and in which everything that was around me was suffused with positivity and light. The dream filled me with the most immense sense of love I have ever felt in this realm of reality. That statement is saying a lot since my life has been infused and saturated with so much love that saying a dream left me feeling more love than all the love I have already felt is an oddity. How can a dream make me feel so much love, a feeling of being welcomed home and a feeling of being in safe harbor?
I will attempt to describe the dream in the best detail I can, but dreams become wisps of thought that dance or fade away like a mist. I fear I will not do the dream the justice it deserves in description and feeling. The dream, however, deserves to be told.
The dream began with me looking out onto a sea of emerald. The waves of grass danced with the gentle breeze of a warm summer day. I felt the gentle caress of the wind on my face; I relished in its touch and breathed in the perfumes the wind brought with it of sage, grass, dirt, and wildflowers. As the wind caressed my face with the tender touch of a lover in moments of intimacy, the sun blanketed me with warmth and light. It was like the perfection attained by nature on days when you feel like you can let nature show you her loving caress and embrace.
A voice, distant at first but growing nearer, waltzed with the breeze and the sea of emerald grass as it alighted on me and kissed my eardrum. "Micah," it sang, as the voice kissed me, "Micah, come to me." A gentle laugh of pure joy followed the voice; the laugh was a laugh of innocence and pleasure.
I knew the voice; it was one I remembered not just from memory, but I remembered it from deep down, from bone, cartilage, and blood. The voice made my heart leap at its sound, at the notes of its song made me find simple pleasure in them and grin. I know that voice, I thought. But as I looked over the waves of grass, I couldn't find the source of the voice.
I walked in the direction from where I thought the voice had come. I waded through the sea of grass and wandered into an island of wildflowers surrounded on all sides by the emerald grass. The bright yellows, fuchsia, tangerine, lavender, sapphire, and other colors assaulted my eyes with the splendor of their beauty. I stood, halted in place, in the island of wildflowers. I was unable to move because my body didn't want to leave the island behind. But the voice, again, kissed my eardrums and broke the spell the island of flowers had on me. "Micah," the siren song crooned, "Where are you? I want you here with me." And I, following the siren song, continued to wade through the grass beyond the island.
I don't know how long I waded through the expanse of emerald, but I soon came to see a crystal blue lake; the water was so clear, I could see the bottom of the lake. The gentle breeze that caressed my face did nothing to mar the glass-like surface of the lake.
At a short distance from the lake, a summer home stood erect. It was a simple home with a white exterior and a covered porch. Because of my distance from the house (and apparently, because even in dreams my eyesight is poor), I couldn't see any more of the features. However, I could see a form, a person, walking on the wandering path that lead from the house to the lake; the path led to a wooden boat dock I hadn't noticed before that stuck out into the lake.
As I looked on, the person walking toward the dock looked up and, seeing me, waved. There was something in the wave I recognized. Everything in me desired to be with that person. My legs, seeming to have a mind of their own, began to run toward the lake but mostly toward the person that every part of me seemed to know and crave.
The distance between us, though short, seemed to be miles away. But the distance would not stop me or tire my limbs. No force in the world would stop my forward motion. As I drew within range, the person, now I could see him, had a smile on his face that brightened his visage and made everything around him that much lighter. His dark brown hair shifting in the breeze and his deep blue eyes sparkled with happiness. His arms were open wide to receive me. There was no other place I desired to be than with him in those outstretched arms.
My heart beat sped up as I neared him and my limbs ached for those open arms to wrap me up in their strong embrace. As our two bodies collided, I knocked him to the ground with me in an embrace so strong, so needed and so full of love. I couldn't remember an embrace as necessary as that hug.
We laughed as we tumbled to the ground, feeling no force of momentum or gravity as we hit the ground. Nothing was more important than the two of us and no pain could come close to diminishing the immense love that was shared between us. The love I felt was no familial expression of love, but the love of a partner or lover who has been long separated from the other. It was like the holes that had been experienced and suffered through were finally filled. I felt complete.
Words at this point seemed unnecessary and futile. He was with me and I with him. Everything else seemed to fall away into insignificance. After we held each other for a while, our lips met in a passionate kiss. His lips on mine and his arms wrapped around me, gave me a strong sense of home and love.
After what felt like only a moment, but was more like hours, we rose and hand in hand walked to the edge of the dock. We sat and dipped our feet in the crystal blue water. He place his arm around my waist. I leaned into him and our heads touched. Then, I woke up.
I don't know if this was a glimpse at a past life or a glimpse at a possible future life, but I know that as I live life (and, whether I want to admit it or not, search for my one) I have been given a glimpse of the possibility to love another man and receive love in return. And when love comes, it will be as a dream I dreamed. I will be complete and whole and loved. Namaste.
However, there is a dream that I remember in which I was happy and in which everything that was around me was suffused with positivity and light. The dream filled me with the most immense sense of love I have ever felt in this realm of reality. That statement is saying a lot since my life has been infused and saturated with so much love that saying a dream left me feeling more love than all the love I have already felt is an oddity. How can a dream make me feel so much love, a feeling of being welcomed home and a feeling of being in safe harbor?
I will attempt to describe the dream in the best detail I can, but dreams become wisps of thought that dance or fade away like a mist. I fear I will not do the dream the justice it deserves in description and feeling. The dream, however, deserves to be told.
The dream began with me looking out onto a sea of emerald. The waves of grass danced with the gentle breeze of a warm summer day. I felt the gentle caress of the wind on my face; I relished in its touch and breathed in the perfumes the wind brought with it of sage, grass, dirt, and wildflowers. As the wind caressed my face with the tender touch of a lover in moments of intimacy, the sun blanketed me with warmth and light. It was like the perfection attained by nature on days when you feel like you can let nature show you her loving caress and embrace.
A voice, distant at first but growing nearer, waltzed with the breeze and the sea of emerald grass as it alighted on me and kissed my eardrum. "Micah," it sang, as the voice kissed me, "Micah, come to me." A gentle laugh of pure joy followed the voice; the laugh was a laugh of innocence and pleasure.
I knew the voice; it was one I remembered not just from memory, but I remembered it from deep down, from bone, cartilage, and blood. The voice made my heart leap at its sound, at the notes of its song made me find simple pleasure in them and grin. I know that voice, I thought. But as I looked over the waves of grass, I couldn't find the source of the voice.
I walked in the direction from where I thought the voice had come. I waded through the sea of grass and wandered into an island of wildflowers surrounded on all sides by the emerald grass. The bright yellows, fuchsia, tangerine, lavender, sapphire, and other colors assaulted my eyes with the splendor of their beauty. I stood, halted in place, in the island of wildflowers. I was unable to move because my body didn't want to leave the island behind. But the voice, again, kissed my eardrums and broke the spell the island of flowers had on me. "Micah," the siren song crooned, "Where are you? I want you here with me." And I, following the siren song, continued to wade through the grass beyond the island.
I don't know how long I waded through the expanse of emerald, but I soon came to see a crystal blue lake; the water was so clear, I could see the bottom of the lake. The gentle breeze that caressed my face did nothing to mar the glass-like surface of the lake.
At a short distance from the lake, a summer home stood erect. It was a simple home with a white exterior and a covered porch. Because of my distance from the house (and apparently, because even in dreams my eyesight is poor), I couldn't see any more of the features. However, I could see a form, a person, walking on the wandering path that lead from the house to the lake; the path led to a wooden boat dock I hadn't noticed before that stuck out into the lake.
As I looked on, the person walking toward the dock looked up and, seeing me, waved. There was something in the wave I recognized. Everything in me desired to be with that person. My legs, seeming to have a mind of their own, began to run toward the lake but mostly toward the person that every part of me seemed to know and crave.
The distance between us, though short, seemed to be miles away. But the distance would not stop me or tire my limbs. No force in the world would stop my forward motion. As I drew within range, the person, now I could see him, had a smile on his face that brightened his visage and made everything around him that much lighter. His dark brown hair shifting in the breeze and his deep blue eyes sparkled with happiness. His arms were open wide to receive me. There was no other place I desired to be than with him in those outstretched arms.
My heart beat sped up as I neared him and my limbs ached for those open arms to wrap me up in their strong embrace. As our two bodies collided, I knocked him to the ground with me in an embrace so strong, so needed and so full of love. I couldn't remember an embrace as necessary as that hug.
We laughed as we tumbled to the ground, feeling no force of momentum or gravity as we hit the ground. Nothing was more important than the two of us and no pain could come close to diminishing the immense love that was shared between us. The love I felt was no familial expression of love, but the love of a partner or lover who has been long separated from the other. It was like the holes that had been experienced and suffered through were finally filled. I felt complete.
Words at this point seemed unnecessary and futile. He was with me and I with him. Everything else seemed to fall away into insignificance. After we held each other for a while, our lips met in a passionate kiss. His lips on mine and his arms wrapped around me, gave me a strong sense of home and love.
After what felt like only a moment, but was more like hours, we rose and hand in hand walked to the edge of the dock. We sat and dipped our feet in the crystal blue water. He place his arm around my waist. I leaned into him and our heads touched. Then, I woke up.
I don't know if this was a glimpse at a past life or a glimpse at a possible future life, but I know that as I live life (and, whether I want to admit it or not, search for my one) I have been given a glimpse of the possibility to love another man and receive love in return. And when love comes, it will be as a dream I dreamed. I will be complete and whole and loved. Namaste.
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