I was riding the bike at the gym a few days ago, which is usually a time I let all thoughts die away. However, as I road listening to pop and dance music so that I maintained the pace, a fragment of thought whispered to me above the music. I heard "tomorrow" and "today." I don't have schizophrenia; I don't hear voices. I promise. However, when I heard "prospect," "tomorrow," and again "today," I turned off my music to listen with an open mind. This time I heard, "At the prospect of tomorrow, I see the need for today." What would that mean? Why was I being whispered this phrase?
I have been thinking on it for a few days now and still don't know where it came from, but I know where my desire to hear it came from. In my current condition, a.k.a my preoccupation in the present moment, one of my friends, whom if he knew I was writing about him would freak out because of his need for the close confines of his personal "closet" and his affinity for his alias, has expressed his concern for my need for the present moment and my continual residence within the solace of the moment. My friend said that I needed to keep the future in mind because if I don't, problems, unforeseen, would sneak up on me.
While this may be true and may be a necessity for him, the future is too dark and shadowy to remain in my troubled mind. When I think on the future, I can't help but stress out at the prospect of dead-end jobs and the inability to pay my student loans. Also, the prospects of future wars and civil disturbances leave me in an agitated state. Fear takes hold and darkens the day. The future holds within it unnecessary stresses and worries that don't exist yet. They are shadows beyond the next moment that I can't seem to touch or meet. As soon as I meet the future, it becomes the past and so on into infinity.
As I struggle to maintain fragmentary moments of peace and sanity, I find that dwelling on the past leaves me bitter because of perceived failures. As I look to the future, I am struck with unmet pleasures or pains. What I've created in the past and the nonexistent future are continually and unnecessarily focused on. However, I understand my friends concern for my focus solely in the present. Understanding that concern is why I was given that moment of inspiration. That whisper came to me because the creation of each new moment allows for the betterment of each new moment.
If we become aware of what we do now and how it effects the next moment and the next after that, eternally, we must strive for an eternal betterment of the present moment. For example, a smile now can carry a smile to someone else's now and so on, but it also effects your personal present moment. Our joy in turn effects the joy of others' nows and continues the joy of your eternal moments. Thus, "at the prospect of tomorrow, I see the need for today" and the must see the need for now.
I have been thinking on it for a few days now and still don't know where it came from, but I know where my desire to hear it came from. In my current condition, a.k.a my preoccupation in the present moment, one of my friends, whom if he knew I was writing about him would freak out because of his need for the close confines of his personal "closet" and his affinity for his alias, has expressed his concern for my need for the present moment and my continual residence within the solace of the moment. My friend said that I needed to keep the future in mind because if I don't, problems, unforeseen, would sneak up on me.
While this may be true and may be a necessity for him, the future is too dark and shadowy to remain in my troubled mind. When I think on the future, I can't help but stress out at the prospect of dead-end jobs and the inability to pay my student loans. Also, the prospects of future wars and civil disturbances leave me in an agitated state. Fear takes hold and darkens the day. The future holds within it unnecessary stresses and worries that don't exist yet. They are shadows beyond the next moment that I can't seem to touch or meet. As soon as I meet the future, it becomes the past and so on into infinity.
As I struggle to maintain fragmentary moments of peace and sanity, I find that dwelling on the past leaves me bitter because of perceived failures. As I look to the future, I am struck with unmet pleasures or pains. What I've created in the past and the nonexistent future are continually and unnecessarily focused on. However, I understand my friends concern for my focus solely in the present. Understanding that concern is why I was given that moment of inspiration. That whisper came to me because the creation of each new moment allows for the betterment of each new moment.
If we become aware of what we do now and how it effects the next moment and the next after that, eternally, we must strive for an eternal betterment of the present moment. For example, a smile now can carry a smile to someone else's now and so on, but it also effects your personal present moment. Our joy in turn effects the joy of others' nows and continues the joy of your eternal moments. Thus, "at the prospect of tomorrow, I see the need for today" and the must see the need for now.
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