A Change in the Wind: Seeing the Beauty in Difference

Our nation IS going through change. A nation that cannot change will eventually stagnate and lose its place on this Earth only to be replaced by something new. One of those changes is being debated in our Supreme Court. Gay marriage: a right to say to the nation that you chose this person to love in the eyes of the law. The justices are deciding the constitutionality of defining marriage as between a man and a woman or allowing same-sex couples the civil rights given in the sanctity of a civilly recognized marriage.

Truth be told, we aren't asking for religions to recognize our unions. We are just asking for the rights given by the law to people who are married under the law. Religions are more than welcome to keep their holy matrimony from us. We are just asking for the government to give us the same recognition that has been given to heterosexual couples for years.

What is truly in question here? Is the nation questioning the love one man can have for another or one woman for another and the recognition those couples seek in their union? A recognition of their devotion to one another? Is love only expressible one man to one woman? Is love not love in any form of its expression between two consenting adults?

I have acquiesced to the idea that thousands of years ago, a man recorded that God sees homosexuality as an abomination. This thought never escapes me; it was ingrained into my mind in church. The abomination of homosexuality as seen in religion is shouted at Gay Pride parades. Believe me, if you are gay, you are never allowed to believe you are anything but an abomination. Gay people aren't allowed to be comfortable in their own skin. Gay people can't feel special until we are allowed to be around others just like us or until we can see people like us standing as role models and being seen as important. And then, again, in a sign or a shout from a stranger, we are reminded of how God hates us and how we are abominations.

Truly, we are different and that makes us be seen as abnormal. We stand apart and that scares people. Difference leads to a fear of what is unknown. Our judges don't know us and some refuse to get to know us. In the novel Where the Boys Are by William J. Mann, one of the protagonists, Jeff, has undergone a change in himself and he says, talking about the homosexual community, "We're good people...Too often have we believed the old lie that says we're bad, we're perverted, we're abominations. But those who spread the lie don't know. They don't know how we love, how we hurt, how we live" (424). As homosexuals, we often despise what is in us because of what we are taught. We accept our abomination and despise it rather than share the beauty that is in us, the love we give, and the lives we live.

The very fact that we have so many standing up with us for our right to be recognized as married couples shows the change that is inevitable for ou
r country. And it is heart-warming. However, there are still so many who want to keep our rights from us and keep us from realizing we are not abominations. So, I would ask of those who want to keep this right from us, don't veer from your religious beliefs, but understand that we are not asking for your church to recognize us. We are asking for the civil rights given to people recognized by the law of the land in civil marriage. I also ask you to get to know us. "Know how we love, how we hurt, how we live" and see our difference as a miracle and a beauty rather than an abomination. Know us for us.

I Dream Dreams

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr.,  a great man who was one of the spearheads of the Civil Rights Movement and gave his life for that movement, I have been given a chance this month to dream my own dreams. I have seen the great movings of progress in our nation once again and I've seen the efforts to stifle that movement, keeping the progress stagnant; I have seen great movements for the progress to move backward. I have seen heads held high with pride and heads hidden in fear and shame. I have seen pain and have seen joy. Through it all, I have seen dreamers continually dreaming. So, I too have dreams.

I have a dream that one day marriage will not be determined by which sex you marry, but by the love you share. I have a dream that love be demonstrated from coast to coast through simple and big acts. I have a dream that my children and future generations will be able to show the world that who they love is not something of which to be ashamed. I have a dream that with their partners' hands in theirs, they can walk with heads held high and show the world how deep their love is.

I have a dream that people will identify one another as human beings and not place each other in identifiable boxes that separate each of us, rather than unify us. I have a dream that we can each share the aspects of ourselves rather than hide in the dark closets we have built for ourselves. I have a dream that with heads held high, people can be proud of who they are and not hide in shame and fear.

I have a dream that each child can walk to school without fear of violence and without fear of being bullied. Schools should be places for learning, not fearing and hiding. I have a dream that students feel like they have a place to go where their opinions matter and they are accepted for who they are and not in what box they have been identified. I have a dream that fear does not play a part in their lives.

I have a dream that the men and women who serve this country will continue to protect us, but that they will come home safe from a war that seems so futile. I dream a dream of peace and life free from corruption. I dream a dream of love over hate; love becoming the ruler of our minds and hearts. I dream of safe schools and zero tolerance for violence and bullying. I dream of peace and love. I continue dreaming dreams.