How do you know the perfect time to say that you like or even love someone? Is there a set time for pet names? Is there a set time to do it? I found myself asking these question when I started to feel an inkling of affection for a guy. We haven't know each other long and we have gone on a few dates. However, I have had this strange need to call him "babe." When I text and talk to him, the word almost slips out as if naturally, but I tend to censor myself because I don't want to scare him away. Is there a time frame for things or do you just let yourself fall?
Life is an interesting hodgepodge of chaotic events that I don't understand and have a hard time navigating. I have to take what I see in pop culture as the way things are. I don't have a couple I am close enough to to turn to for these kind of questions and examples of how to approach dating men. I know it sounds stupid, but I don't know who to turn to to answer the questions that are abundant and confusing in my mind. It is a tornado of uncertainty and misconceptions on how to act and how to be.
When I told the guy I want to call "babe," that I keep censoring myself in text, he asked me why I was censoring myself. I told him it was a bit early to start doling out pet names and I didn't want to scare him away. He told me to stop censoring myself because there is not set time to do one thing or say another. He told me to do what feels natural.
It still makes me nervous to call him "babe," but at the same time, it feels normal and it feels great. I think if I continue to censor myself to save people's feelings from being hurt or because I am nervous I will scare them away, I will continue to miss out on some of the greatest adventures of my life because fear ruled me and my actions. I can't let fear be my ruler; I must rule it.
One of my favorite books is Dune by Frank Herbert and in it is one of my favorite quotes. It is the Litany against Fear that the Bene Gesserit say and the main character Paul says multiple times throughout the novel. (I know I am kind of a geek, but deal with it! :-) ) The Litany against Fear is kind of a mantra that I am adapting to my own life. The Litany against Fear is:
Life is an interesting hodgepodge of chaotic events that I don't understand and have a hard time navigating. I have to take what I see in pop culture as the way things are. I don't have a couple I am close enough to to turn to for these kind of questions and examples of how to approach dating men. I know it sounds stupid, but I don't know who to turn to to answer the questions that are abundant and confusing in my mind. It is a tornado of uncertainty and misconceptions on how to act and how to be.
When I told the guy I want to call "babe," that I keep censoring myself in text, he asked me why I was censoring myself. I told him it was a bit early to start doling out pet names and I didn't want to scare him away. He told me to stop censoring myself because there is not set time to do one thing or say another. He told me to do what feels natural.
It still makes me nervous to call him "babe," but at the same time, it feels normal and it feels great. I think if I continue to censor myself to save people's feelings from being hurt or because I am nervous I will scare them away, I will continue to miss out on some of the greatest adventures of my life because fear ruled me and my actions. I can't let fear be my ruler; I must rule it.
One of my favorite books is Dune by Frank Herbert and in it is one of my favorite quotes. It is the Litany against Fear that the Bene Gesserit say and the main character Paul says multiple times throughout the novel. (I know I am kind of a geek, but deal with it! :-) ) The Litany against Fear is kind of a mantra that I am adapting to my own life. The Litany against Fear is:
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain (12).Life is not meant to be feared but is meant to be lived. If we fear, we miss the most important and meaningful events in our lives. And sometimes we skip out on some important people coming into our lives. So, "[We] must not fear," and we must open myself to the possibilities beyond ourselves. And sometimes, just fall. Namaste.
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