As I had my days off, I talked with my parents a lot about life and the things with which I struggle. I discovered, in talking to them, that I have yet another disorder. This disorder is not one that only I suffer from. Many people in the world today suffer from this disorder and I still am not even sure if it is recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV), though it should be. I am terming the disorder the "Grass is Greener" disorder.
In everything I do, there is always something wrong with it. I am never just happy with the job I have because there has got to be something better out there, if I could only find it. Where I am living now has so many things wrong with it, so there has got to be somewhere else that is better. The person I am dating is okay, but there has got to be someone more perfect. Anything has got to be better than what I have now. When I am suffering, and sometimes when I am not, there is always this trigger in my head that seems to think that it is time to tell me everything else is better than what I have now.
The Grass is Greener disorder is very persistent. It is very hard to find contentment in anything when your brain is always telling you there has got to be something better. I think one of the major issues with the Grass is Greener disorder is you can never be happy with where you are; the present moment is not considered because the past was so bad that the future has to be better than what it was, even if what you have now is really great. The focus on what you have is never really there. You can't see past what you think the future holds to see what is really there and what is good for you now.
I am trying very hard to break free of this disorder, but it is very hard. I don't know how to focus on the present moment when I have been focusing on the future since I was young. When you are young, you get asked questions about your future like "what do you want to be when you grow up," and other questions; you learn to live in the future mentality and forget the current and beautiful present moment.
However, if we, yes, not just me, can learn to live in the present moment and stop looking to the greener pastures, the Grass is Greener disorder will lose its control over us. We will learn to be content with what we have instead of what we don't have. We will learn that where we are is where we are supposed to be and who we are with is who we are meant to be with at that very moment. I have a mantra that I try to tell myself everyday that I learned from Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist philosopher. The mantra is, "Dwelling in the present moment, I realize this is a wonderful moment." If we can focus on the present moment, life will be wonderful and we will have defeated the Grass is Greener disorder because the grass on which we stand is the most beautiful and the most green.
In everything I do, there is always something wrong with it. I am never just happy with the job I have because there has got to be something better out there, if I could only find it. Where I am living now has so many things wrong with it, so there has got to be somewhere else that is better. The person I am dating is okay, but there has got to be someone more perfect. Anything has got to be better than what I have now. When I am suffering, and sometimes when I am not, there is always this trigger in my head that seems to think that it is time to tell me everything else is better than what I have now.
The Grass is Greener disorder is very persistent. It is very hard to find contentment in anything when your brain is always telling you there has got to be something better. I think one of the major issues with the Grass is Greener disorder is you can never be happy with where you are; the present moment is not considered because the past was so bad that the future has to be better than what it was, even if what you have now is really great. The focus on what you have is never really there. You can't see past what you think the future holds to see what is really there and what is good for you now.
I am trying very hard to break free of this disorder, but it is very hard. I don't know how to focus on the present moment when I have been focusing on the future since I was young. When you are young, you get asked questions about your future like "what do you want to be when you grow up," and other questions; you learn to live in the future mentality and forget the current and beautiful present moment.
However, if we, yes, not just me, can learn to live in the present moment and stop looking to the greener pastures, the Grass is Greener disorder will lose its control over us. We will learn to be content with what we have instead of what we don't have. We will learn that where we are is where we are supposed to be and who we are with is who we are meant to be with at that very moment. I have a mantra that I try to tell myself everyday that I learned from Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist philosopher. The mantra is, "Dwelling in the present moment, I realize this is a wonderful moment." If we can focus on the present moment, life will be wonderful and we will have defeated the Grass is Greener disorder because the grass on which we stand is the most beautiful and the most green.
This reminded me of a poem I have been memorizing. My girls want to know why I memorize poetry, but I think you will understand and I think you will like this poem.
ReplyDeleteCHOICES
if i can't do
what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don't want
to do
it's not the same thing
but it's the best i can
do
if i can't have
what i want . . . then
my job is to want
what i've got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want
since i can't go
where i need
to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement
isn't lateral
when i can't express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal
i know
but that's why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry
I too have been thinking of how this world throws so much into our path that we cannot be content and was reading 1 timothy the other day and in chapter 6 it says:
6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.
7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
I love that!