Sometimes We All Need a Little Love Note To Keep Us Going.

I don't know if it is just me, but there are days when everything seems to just fall apart and all that you can think of is giving up. The easiest thing to do would be to let go and forget everything and everyone. In fact, there are days when I wish that I could forget everything and start over; a tabula rasa in my mind would sometimes seem the salve to soothe a tired mind. There are days, like the past four, when I just want the world to stop its revolutions. Then, the most amazing thing happens; the universe gives me a glimmer of hope and love to keep me going. And I am grateful for that glimmer of hope and love the universe deems necessary for me at that point in time.

Over the past four days, I have often thought about the loneliness I seem to be stuck in; the holidays have a tendency to give me that little reminder. I go to work and then come home to an empty bed and am reminded of just how alone I am. At that moment, I just wonder how cursed I must be to find myself alone without a glimpse of the loneliness ever changing and I want to crawl into bed and never get out. Those moments bring on the feelings of wanting to start life over or for the world to stop turning. Those moments are the times when I want to give up and stop trying.

But, I keep going. I keep waking up and I maintain the cycle that seems to be the meaning of my life. I try a
little more. I get myself out of bed and right before I hit the breaking point again, the universe deems me worthy to have a glimpse of hope and love. At that point, someone I haven't heard from in a while messages me and tells me they love me or someone invites me over for Thanksgiving dinner with their family. And the glimmer of hope and love spark a renewed desire for life.

Today, when I was feeling sub par and irrelevant, I received two very important messages from two very special people. First, I haven't talked to my cousin Megan in a very long time. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I actually sat down and caught up with her and her little family. However, today, out of the blue, Megan messaged me and said that if I didn't have plans for Thanksgiving, I was welcome to come and join her and her family for their meal. Then, as if one love note wasn't enough, one of my favorite teachers and mentors, commented on one of my posts saying, "Love you, Micah."

And with a dinner invitation and a message of love, I was reminded of how blessed I am with such loving friends and family. The universe saw fit to send me these two love notes. I am truly grateful for the little love notes the universe sends me to keep me going. I am grateful to Megan and to Karin for their simple but loving messages. I am grateful to know that no matter how alone I may feel, I always have family and friends surrounding me. Thank you all for your love and your light.

To All the Candles That Are Continually Lighting the Darkness, Keep Shining.

My friend had his car stolen the other day. As I was talking to another friend about the incident, she said, "People are horrible." In the instance of the person who needed to take my friend's car, I would like to say that yes, that person is horrible and there seems to be a lot of horrible people out there in the world today. However, as I told my friend, there are a lot of really good people out there too. And this is something that I am extremely grateful for.

If we watch the news, we discover that there has been a mugging, a robbery, a shooting, a car theft, and/or many other chaotic and disheartening things happening in the world today. Unfortunately, I think the focus of the news on the negative and the injustice that is occurring all over the globe keeps us from seeing the good things people are doing in the world to combat the evil that seems so prevalent. The focus on the negative is unfortunate and seems to keep us afraid. But there is so much good to contrast the bad and for that I am grateful.

How can we be a part of the cause for good when we seem so few sometimes? The Buddha said, "Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." St. Matthew also wrote, "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works..." If we are like a candle and share our light or our goodness with the world, the one candle that burns brightly can bring light and happiness to many other lights and not take away from itself. Likewise, if we share goodness and live our lives trying to help others, our goodness can light many other people's lives and maybe they will share their goodness with others. Good will shine and maybe someday outweigh the evil.

I am grateful to all of those candles out there that are burning bright for the world to see. I am grateful to the people who, in spite of the rising tide of evil that surrounds us, continue in their daily lives to try to share their light with one more person. I am grateful to all of those good people out there who continue to give people hope. Thank you to all of you. Please continue to share your light and goodness with the world because we need it.

Namaste.

The Sounds of Silence: Pure Enjoyment in the Quiet Stillness

I am sitting in front of my computer and wondering what I am grateful for today. I could think of something
insightful or at least, I'd like to think it is insightful. I could write about something trivial just to say that I updated my blog today. However, as I sit here in the solitude of my room, all I hear in my house tonight is silence. The beautiful, exquisite silence like a breath of fresh air.

Why would someone be grateful for silence? Living in a city (well, I don't think you can completely consider Orem a city, but some of the sounds are similar so I will go with city) you hear the rush of traffic, the honking of horns, the yelling children in the street, the barking dogs, the wailing of a hungry or sleepy baby or toddler, the boom boom boom of music from a passing car, the slamming doors, the beeping at checkout counters, the crash of an opening cash register, random conversationalists, the whir of CPU's, the rapping of fingers on computer keyboards, the buzz of neon lights, and so much more. The world is a chaotic mass of sound and sometimes it is just too much. Sometimes, the world just needs to have an off switch or a mute button.

Tonight, at my house, the mute button seems to have been pushed. There is nothing but the sound of the intake of my breath. I can hear the beat of my heart in my ears. I can hear the rustling of my clothes as my body finds motion. I can hear my feet brushing against the carpet. I can relax and close my eyes, hearing the sounds of silence. And I find it music to my overstimulated ears.

My being an introvert has a lot to do with the joy I find in being in solitude and silence. I am truly grateful for the sounds silence brings. I am grateful to come to a place of quiet and feel like my own thoughts have room to run around and collect themselves. I am grateful for the pure joy silence can bring and for the awareness of the now silence brings with it. I feel like a have a glimpse at what Superman must feel (if Superman was real) in his Fortress of Solitude. I am free in my solitude and my silence. I am grateful I can rejuvenate and calm myself for another week of work, and then, all of the sounds coalesce and converge into the chaotic symphony of life.

Ties That Bind: Grateful for Friends That Make Life Enjoyable

At the end of day nineteen, I feel it is necessary to say I am grateful to be free from the harmful addictions that plague our society. There are so many things that are harmful to the body and the mind. These things are so easy to get from pornography to drugs to online gaming and gambling. I am grateful today that I have not become addicted to some things that I have been exposed to and am glad I have not been exposed to the more harmful ones. I am not saying I don't have any addictions; I have an addiction to sugar and to soda, but, though these two are not necessarily good for my health, I am not losing friends and family over them.

Today has been a hard day for some of my friends. They have had to kick a friend out of there house because of his addiction to a substance. I won't go into complete details on the who's, the why's, or the how's, but because of his addiction to a heavily addictive substance, he no longer is able to live with them and their friendship will not be what it used to be. All of this because of a drug that will give him short amounts of relief from whatever he is running from.

I am very grateful to the universe, to God, to the angels, or to whatever aide I received and receive in my journey so that I was never lead down this dark and lonely path. In my job, I have seen many people's lives ruined because of drug addiction and alcohol addiction. These addictions, and the others like them, separate families and friends and they sever ties and bonds that can rarely be reshaped into previous forms of what they used to be.

Finally, I am very grateful to the friends that I associate with and the friends that make life fun and enjoyable without having to resort to substance abuse. I am very blessed with wonderful friends that keep me smiling and laughing. I am grateful I know them and I am blessed they have chosen me to be counted among their friends because without these ties, I don't know where I would be or what poor life decisions I would make. So, I am very grateful to my friends. You are amazing people and I can't thank you enough for all you do for me.

What are you grateful for?

Happy Birthday, Grandma: Gratitude and Love to a Great Woman

At the end of day seventeen, I need to send out a very special thank you to the woman that made my life and my dad's life possible. Today is my grandmother's birthday and she deserves every bit of recognition I can give her. Along with the recognition, I owe my grandmother the most deserved thank you. Without her, I could not be and without the way she raised my dad, my life would be very different.

In all of the days I have known this great woman, part of them with her other half and part of them

Grandma with Aiden, Ashlan, and Kaly.

without him, she has worn her faith on her sleeves and has shown a great example for her children and grandchildren. Grandma always went to church when should was able. She and Grandpa served a mission, and no matter how busy she was, she was always looking after the people--especially the people of Pioche, Nevada. Service with a smile was one thing that I learned from Grandma. No matter how busy she was with family, she always had time to help someone out. I am grateful to her for her example of faith and service. 

I am very grateful to Grandma for raising Dad to be a man of faith and a noble and loving man. The way Grandma raised Dad was shown to me in the way Dad raised me. Through her teachings to Dad, I learned to honor the name I bore; I learned to show kindness in word and deed; I learned to keep my word; and I learned to love without exception. The person that I am today is in part due to Grandma who raised the man that raised me. I am grateful to her for raising Dad the way she did. I would not be the man I am if I didn't have the son she raised to be my dad.

I could go on and on about the many things I owe to Grandma and for all of those things I owe a debt of gratitude that can never be repaid to one of the greatest women I know. My words will never suffice and will never be able to repay her for all that she has done for me. I will never be able to repay her for the example she has set for me. I just want my grandma to know she is amazing. I am grateful to her and for her everyday. Thank you, Grandma. I love you and owe you so much.

My Gift of Writing: Gratitude for the Ability to Express and Create

At the end of the fifteenth of November, I sit in front of my laptop thinking of the many things with which I have been blessed. Today, I have to say I am grateful for the ability to express myself in the art of words. Some people have conversational skills, some people have skills with a paintbrush, and some people have skills with a camera. All of these people have the ability to create. They have the ability to take a blank slate or canvas and make beauty out of what other's would see as nothing. Where some see the nothing, artists and creators see potential and possibility.

For me, a blank screen or a lined piece of paper holds vast amounts of possibility. There is adventure
between the blue lines of lined paper. There are princesses who don't need a prince to save them, but in the end, the princess saves the prince. In every moment of creating and producing the written word, there is a God-like moment of creation. I get to be fate; I get to be judge, jury, and executioner or angel of mercy. I have the God-like ability to create a world and the people within that world. The possibilities are endless when it comes to writing.

Not only am I able to connect and create worlds and lives, but I can also use my words to inspire or to attempt to engage people in conversation. I can attempt to use my words and my thoughts to make people reconsider their views about others. I can hope that through my writing they could see beyond race, gender, sexual orientation, and even spiritual belief. And I am grateful to be a part of a group of people that use words to create, inspire, inform, and engage others.

The final reason that I am grateful to be able to express myself with my writing is because I am not a conversationalist. I am an introvert. I look inward and observe the outside world. I listen and occasionally offer advice, but usually, I just listen. Listening has always been one of my best qualities. However, there comes a time in my introversion I feel like I have something to say and speaking it just doesn't seem like the natural thing for me to do. So, I write and I create something from nothing.

I am grateful for the ability to express myself. I feel that the universe looked on me and offered me this gift as my means to expression. I am grateful to the universe for this gift. I am grateful to all of my mentors, professors, and teachers who have helped me to hone my gift to a sharper point. I have a ways to go before my pen will prick the hearts of the reader, but I am grateful for the journey I have been on. I am grateful. Namaste.

What are you grateful for?

"Can You Hear Me Now?": Grateful for the Technological Advances of Our Generation

It's day 12 of my days of Thanksgiving. As I thought about the something that I am grateful for, I was thinking about the phone call I received this morning from my mother. She called to tell me she has been on an emotional journey.

 "What made you go on this emotional journey, Mom?" I asked, driving back from the gym. It was common of her to call me during the week, but usually the reason she has been on an emotional journey is because of something bad that I may have done, said, or posted, but since I knew I hadn't done anything like that, I waited for her reply.

"I read your blog today," she said. I waited for her to continue, but there was a silence on the other side of the line. Then, I could hear her sniffling and I knew that she was crying. "I am grateful for the way that you write," she cried as I imagined the tears welling up in her eyes. "You write with such emotion and some of the things you write about, I wouldn't have even thought of. It is kind of like you say when you say that we take for granted some of the things we have been blessed with. I am proud of you and just wanted to tell you that I love you. I asked your dad if I could make comments on your blog. He said I could and then he said that I could just call and tell you, so I decided to call and tell you."

"Thanks, Mom," I said as the tears began to well up in my own eyes. When my mom cries, whether good or bad tears, I always cry. "That means a lot to me. I am glad that you are crying happy tears this time and not the kind that I have made you cry in the past. I guess this kinda makes up for the sad tears I have made you cry." I laughed and could hear the sparkle in her own laugh. We continued to talk for another ten minutes and then we said our goodbyes and went on with our separate days. 

Tonight, as I considered the conversation, I realized that without the blessing of technology (cellphones, satellites, and many other things), I wouldn't be able to just randomly call my mom and dad and talk to them. I wouldn't be able to pick up my cellphone and send them pictures or random texts. I wouldn't be able to tell friends and family that I love them even though they are miles away from me. So, today, I am very grateful for the blessing of technology.

I wonder what it would be like without the technology we have today. I realize that life would be different and we would be back to the old fashioned way of sending messages via the coach or the post. E-mail and text messaging make conversation, though digital, a lot faster and a lot easier to know that the ones we love are still at the touch of a button. Life would definitely be a lot different if we didn't have the gadgets and gizmos that we have in abundance. So, I am grateful to the brilliant minds that came up with the technology that we enjoy everyday of our lives and that allow me to keep in touch with the ones I love. I am truly blessed.

What are you grateful for....?

In Honor of the Men and Women Who Sacrifice Their Time and Lives....

At the end of day eleven, I need to give a shout out and an enormous thank you to all of the men and women that have served and serve in our military today. Today is Veteran's Day and I need to give my support, love, and thanks to all of the men and women that protect the rights and freedoms that many of us take for granted. This country has remained what it is because of the men and women that fight and give their lives for the protection and maintenance of this country and Her many virtues.

I have some friends that are serving in the various branches and I have some family that has served in the previous wars that plague our history. To all of you great men and women, I need to say thank you for protecting this beautiful and amazing nation I call home. To Grandpa, Cam Davis, Elias Sampson, Matt McBride, Cortney Mansanarez, and all of the other people that I haven't mentioned, I say thank you for your

service past and present. I am grateful to each and every one of you and for the years you sacrificed and will sacrifice for the protection of this great country and the rights of each and every American citizen. Thank you for maintaining this land of the free.

In thanking the servicemen and servicewomen, I need to also acknowledge the families and loved ones that supported their husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, and friends. Thank you all for supporting the men and women that gave and give of their time and sometimes their lives for our great country. Without all of your sacrifice, their sacrifice would not have been possible. To Grandma, the Davises, the Sampsons, the McBrides and Matt's fiance, and to Cortney's family and his husband Nick, thank you all for supporting your loved ones during the good and the bad times.

On this day, I say thank you and I am so grateful for the country that I live in and the brave men and women that protect us and our freedoms. I am grateful for their sacrifice and the hope they allow me to continually have because of this great nation. I am truly blessed and wish that I could do more than say thank you, but today, I am especially thankful to our military men and women who serve and have served our country. Thank you from the depths of my heart; I will never be able to repay you for your sacrifices. Namaste.

The Circle of Life: The Miracle of Nature and The Gifts We Receive

I've missed a few days, but for good reason; at least, I'd like to think it was a good reason. Dare I to hope... Anyway, I am four days behind again and am working on finding the four things that I find to be the most important at this point in my day. (Which is not to say that the aforementioned items and people aren't just as important today...) Each moment I consider all the things that I am blessed with, I am overwhelmed with the amount of blessings that I have been gifted in this life.

As winter approaches, then, I would like to say that I am grateful for Nature. I am grateful for every changing
season and for every moment that I am in awe of the mountains, whether snow-capped or full of greenery. I am grateful for the trees that produce the oxygen that keeps inflating my lungs and oxygenating my blood. I am grateful for the sun, the moon, and the stars and for the light they shine down on this minuscule planet lost in the sands of the universe. I am grateful for snow, rain, and any form of water that feeds and nourishes this planet. I am grateful that the planet continues to rotate on its axis and revolves around the sun. I am grateful for every single heartbeat that makes this planet live. Nature is a force to be in awe of and I am grateful for every single aspect of it.

That being said, I  am grateful for the roof that is over my head. I am grateful for the water heater that gives me a hot shower or a hot bath after a workout at the gym or on a cold night. I am grateful for the electricity that pulses through the wiring of the house and gives life to the inanimate. I am grateful for the ground on which the house is built and for the bed on which I lay at night. I am grateful for the protection that the house gives me against the elements when they are sweltering or when they are freezing. I am grateful, in spite of the cockroaches that creep and crawl, for the house that protects and shelters me.

I am grateful for the clothes I put on everyday. I am grateful for the warmth my sweaters and coats give in the winter and for the protection from the sun the hats give in the summer. I am grateful for safety clothing gives and the way every item of clothing makes me feel sheltered against the eyes of the world. I am grateful for the shoes I put on my feet that protect me from the solid rocks, pointy pebbles, or out-of-place shards of glass. I am grateful for the socks that protect me from getting cold feet and protect my feet from getting blisters. I am grateful.

Finally, at the close of this tenth day of the month of Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the animals that give their lives for my sustenance. I am grateful for the blood they shed for me to continue thriving in this world. I am grateful for their spirit and their life. I am grateful to the Earth for the vegetables and the fruits it produces. I am grateful to the bees that pollinate the flowers and help the plants to grow and produce. I am grateful for the hands that go into the care and harvest of all of the vegetables and fruits. I am grateful for all of these and more.

So...what are you grateful for?

Namaste.

Philosophy, Faith and Thought: "These are a Few of my Favorite Things"

It's day six of my attempt to maintain a list of all the things I am thankful for and I have missed day four and five; so, today, I will attempt to list three things that I am thankful for. It is interesting how many things I have that I have started to take for granted. Even as I try to list the things I am thankful for, I realize how hard it is to list. You wouldn't think that it would be difficult to list all the things you are thankful for, but it is hard to do. I think the toughest part is just thinking of one thing a day to be grateful for when there are hundreds of things that I have taken for granted. So, today, I will attempt to come up with the three things that stand out to me.

I am grateful to have a belief system that was instilled in me from the time I was a child. I am grateful that, though my beliefs may have morphed into something that was not originally what my parents intended, I still have something to believe in. I am grateful for everything my parents taught me and the faith they helped me to achieve. Some people see putting faith in something that you can't see or prove with science as a weakness, but there is no greater strength than allowing faith and belief take you to the unknown and raise you higher than you knew you could go. 

I am grateful for the great philosophers of life, i.e. Plato, Socrates, Jesus Christ, Gandhi, Laozi, Siddhartha Gautama, Rumi, Thich Nhat Hanh, Mother Theresa, and the many others. These are the people who, through their teachings, allow us to look deeply within ourselves with their words and see the possibility and the potential for much more than we think we are capable. They help us to see beyond the self and see the inter-connectivity of all life and all beings here in this life. Their words have inspired many people and will continue to inspire many more. They have taught selflessness, life, love, charity, hope, and many other things that we allow ourselves to take in and utilize for the betterment of ourselves and/or the betterment of society. 

Finally, I am grateful for the ability to think. I mention belief and the philosophers of the world, but without the ability to think for ourselves, what would be the purpose of belief? What would be the purpose of philosophy? What would be the purpose of the pursuit of truth and happiness if we are not allowed to think critically? I am grateful for the ability to take in information and meditate on it for truth hidden within the metaphors and analogies. I am grateful I am able to think for myself and find truth in the beautiful gems of belief and philosophy that are so abundant.

These are a few of the things I am thankful for...what are you thankful for?

Namaste

Slaving Away: Thankful to Have a Job and Thankful for the People I Work With

Day 2 comes to a close of my days of Thanksgiving and though it has been a long day (sixteen hours to be exact), I have to say that I am grateful to have a job. My job is far from difficult when it comes to manual labor, but it is the psychological aspects of my job that wear me down many days. Some days, being a psychiatric technician is a thankless job and you feel like the piece of crap that administration has just wiped off of their shoes. However, in the economy we live in today, I am grateful to have a job that gives me medical benefits, so I try not to complain--much.

As a psychiatric technician, it is my job to take care of mentally ill patients who have allegedly committed
crimes and because of their mental state, they are unable to stand in their own defense. The crimes that are allegedly committed (because we are innocent until proven guilty here in the great USA) range from murder or homicide to petty drug charges. Each patient is unique in their needs and in their personality, but we as staff are there to help them to stabilize and to get closer to getting back to the streets or taking the next step in their journey.

The psychological journey that my co-workers and I go through on a daily basis is enough to make you go crazy yourself, but the best part about the job I have is the people I am blessed to work with on a daily basis. We have each others' backs when there is a threat made to one of us. We make each other laugh when it is so hard to even think that we have another four hours to go on the shift from Hell. We hug each other when life seems to crush us and we are simply there for each other when the job becomes too much to bear. My co-workers are my second family and I love each one of them. We are a kaleidoscope of personalities that makes the job worth coming to. I love my team and in spite of the lack of VIPs awarded or recognition given for a job well done, I want to say that my second family rocks. I am grateful for each and every one of them.

In the end, though my job can seem thankless and often times seems like the means to a paycheck, I am grateful to have a job and to be working with some of the greatest nurses and psych techs around. I am grateful for the opportunity to help my patients every day I work with them. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to learn patience with my patients, with administration, and with myself.

So...what are you grateful for today?

Namaste.

Giving Thanks: Seeing Beyond Consumerism During the Holiday Season

This month, at many retail stores, we start to see Christmas trees, wreaths, red and green ornaments, and Santa Claus statues roll out onto the floor to remind consumers of the obligation to buy gifts for loved ones and neighbors. However, the one holiday that should mean more than some consumer-driven holiday is forgotten. Many people forget Thanksgiving and its purpose. No! That purpose is not to eat, drink, and be merry. The one thing that the holiday gets right is family; however, we forget to give thanks daily for the blessings we are given.

This holiday season, I am going to give thanks, daily, for something that I have that I am grateful for. If I can see beyond the consumer-driven holiday that has become of Christmas and remember the various reasons for the season, perhaps, the magic of the holidays will come back and the wonder and joy that once suffused my childhood memories will return and give back what has been lost.

I am a day late so I will have to start out with the two most important aspects of my life that I am grateful for and the number one thing I am grateful for this holiday season and every year past, present, and future is my family. I have been blessed to have one of the most loving families. At my brother's wedding last week, I was able to see all but one of my siblings. I could feel the love in every hug and in every attempt to see how life is going for each one of us. We are lucky, as siblings, to be so close. As the time comes for our parents to go on a mission, we will be tested on how close we are and how close we can become. My family is truly a blessing in my life and a blessing to be counted among the ones for which I could never pay the universe back.

The second thing I am grateful for is the life I have. There have been many times in my existence that I have wished for my lungs to stop breathing and my heart to stop beating, but as I grow older and as I draw closer to truth and understanding, I see the blessing that is life. I am blessed to be able to live a life and experience existence. Life is never easy and it can definitely be a stressful event, but there has always been someone there to help me with my troubles; I want to be able to be there for someone who needs it too. So, I am grateful for every beat of my heart, every inhalation and exhalation of my lungs, every emotion I feel, and every moment of firing neurons.

I encourage everyone to give this challenge of posting, tweeting, or blogging about the things you are grateful for a try. I want the reason for the season to not be lost in gadgets, clothing, shoes, food, et cetera. We are truly blessed in the nation that we live and we need to show that gratitude in word and in action. Let's bring back the joy and the magic of the season. Be grateful and give thanks. Namaste.